Do you think athletes are capable of giving us funny quotes? They sure do! Some of these sports figures may look physically imposing and intimidating. But do not be fooled!
Under these tough athletes are great senses of humor! Jokers even!
Here are some of the funniest quotes that we have come across.
Walt Williams (Houston Rockets)
“I’ve been dunked on by (Vitaly) Potapenko and now (Zan) Tabak. The good part is that they don’t make posters of those guys.”
They don’t?!!? Why?
Mike Tyson – When asked about his retirement plans…
“Fade into Bolivian, I guess.”
Sounds like a great plan. The Bolivians would be thrilled.
Michael Jordan – Referring to the famed museum in Paris…
“I enjoyed the Luge.”
His Airness missed this one.
Torrin Polk – On his coach, John Jenkins…
“He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.”
Because earrings bring out the man in you.
“Ball handling and dribbling are my strongest weaknesses.”
So your weakest strength is?
“I ain’t gonna be no escape-goat.”
He’s not going to escape this one.
George Rogers – On the upcoming season…
“I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”
‘Cause it’s confusing what comes first.
“I’ve seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won.”
And that, children, is how you diss someone.
“I’m the oldest I’ve ever been, right now.”
“The sun has been there for 500, 600 years.”
So. Smart. Not.
Dizzy Dean – After a 1-0 game…
“The game was closer than the score indicated.”
It can get closer than that?!?!?
“We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.”
That is how the team learned to pirouette.
“I’ve won at every level, except college and pro.”
You da man!
“I don’t want to shoot my mouth in my foot, but those are games we can win.”
You can shoot what?
“The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can’t say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Somebody actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex.”
Jurassic Park is not real?!?!?
“Therapy can be a good thing; it can be therapeutic.”
Rickey Henderson – On the issue about 50% of ballplayers using steriods.
“Well, Rickey’s not one of them, so that’s 49 percent right there.”
Antoine Walker – On why he shoots threes…
“Because there are no fours.”
Imagine if the game had 4-points.
David Beckham – On being a “volatile” player…
“I can play in the center, on the right, and occasionally on the left side.”
He speaks English, right?
“Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter. I’m amphibious.”
And that is why you need to go to school.
Tug McGraw – On whether he liked grass or Astroturf…
“I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.”
Tito Fuentes – On getting hit by a pitch…
“They shouldn’t throw at me. I’m the father of five or six kids.”
The fact that he does not know how many kids he has is disturbing. But still funny.
“I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I’m very intelligent when I speak.”
Darren Daulton – On John Kruk…
“Like they say, it ain’t over ’til the fat guy swings.”
That’s just mean.
“We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors.”
“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.”
You have more than one?!?!?